This boy at Target asked if I would hold his hand because his ex girlfriend just walked in with a new guy, so naturally I felt bad and held his hand while strolling around Target for a bit. Then it donned on me, with no other couple in sight, that was the best damn pick up line ever pulled.
my dick is itchy I think i have herpes
(Source: j6)via mypussybaldlikecaillou
"if you’re straight then why did you say she was hot"
yo i’m straight not blind
One time a nun at my school saw a hot guy and said “woah God did a nice job on that one” and we all looked at her like ??? and she goes “I’m allowed to look at the menu I just can’t order”
(Source: winchestersaints)via j-frederick